Motivation Doesn’t Last

Today I am tired, grumpy and don’t really like my kids.  Ben is teething and sick.  Chloe is sick.  Ben is up every 1.5-2 hours at night and when I finally get settled in bed, thinking I might actually get a 3 hour spell, Ryan’s alarm clock goes off or Chloe wakes up for the day at 6:50am and calls out for me.

I love my vocation as a mother, but today is a tough day.  Chloe was whining and crying all morning, and no matter what activity we attempted, she was bored.  Finally I gave up and let her watch cartoons [almost] all morning.  I hate letting that happen, but Ben was finally sleeping and I had just about enough with her.

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This activity lasted about 5 minutes.

My appearance is seriously lacking lately.  I dyed my hair the other day to try to give me a pick-me-up, and while it’s nice, I really just want to treat myself to a professional do.  I’m tired of people commenting on how young I look.  I don’t want to look old, but I want to look older than 16.  It’s tiring having those judgemental glances from those who think I’m a teenage mother of two.  A haircut would be nice…but that’s at least $50 and right now we’re trying to save money.  Kinda; I may have splurged on some natural make-up [I’ll post about that another time].

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(I added this because today I need motivation to keep going.  And I need a bath.)

The kids seems to be professionals at blowing their noses…whenever there is not a kleenex around.  Seriously.  I have snot in my hair, on my clothes, dried up on my skin.  Sounds gross?  It is.  They also seem to know when I am creeping up behind them to wipe the never ending boogies off their face.  Panic sets in and they cry, squirm, scream, hit…you name it.  Maybe one day I’ll be a Boogie Ninga Master.

I am only wearing one sock, eating chocolate and trying to decide if I should pick up the toys from the living, drop into a dead sleep on the couch [haha ya right] or brush my teeth.  Maybe I should work out after all that Easter chocolate.  Or maybe I should add Baileys to my coffee.  Gosh I am tired and rambling now.

I’m trying so hard to act on what I am learning from St. Therese’s autobiography.  How I must love those who are hard to love, embrace the simple/small things with great love, look for ways to offer up struggles to the Lord, and to not consider myself greater than others.  You should read her autobiography.  It’s beautiful, simple and draws you closer to Jesus.

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